“It takes a village to raise a child.”
But what if the village is gone?
A recent study from Peanut and Nuna revealed that three in four mothers feel they have less support today than previous generations. That finding doesn’t surprise me. In fact, it reflects what I witness every day in my work with families across Europe and beyond.
There’s no shortage of advice telling you to rest, to accept help, to turn visitors away when you need time to bond. You’ll find memes saying every guest should bring food or do the dishes before holding your baby. But what if… no one shows up?
The Quiet Reality: Many New Mothers Feel Alone
Many expecting mothers plan every detail of their pregnancy and birth — from expert obstetric care to private hospital suites. But once they return home, support often fades away. The professionals are gone. The routines vanish. And suddenly, it’s just you, your baby, and the quiet.
There’s no family nearby to fold laundry or offer to hold the baby while you shower. No neighbour dropping off dinner. It’s in these moments that many new mothers realise: support shouldn’t end at discharge.
This isn’t uncommon. Many of my clients don’t have a “village” – not because they did anything wrong, but because today’s world is different. We live far from childhood homes. Family may be strained, unavailable, or simply absent. Friends might live in different countries or be in very different life stages.
You might have no one who’s truly there – someone who won’t mind seeing you in your dressing gown, who’ll hold the baby while you shower, or do the dishes without being asked.
Even With a Partner, You Might Still Feel Alone. They’re away on frequent business trips, working long hours, or just can’t be present for the day-to-day. That can leave you feeling like you’re doing it all yourself, even in a two-parent household.
You’re not imagining it. That kind of invisible load is real — and you deserve support that actually shows up when you need it.
Can You Rebuild the Village?
Yes. Just Differently.
Support doesn’t have to come from tradition alone. If you have the means, you can outsource some of the load.
It’s not selfish – it’s smart.
🧺 Hire a cleaner a few weeks before baby arrives, so you’ve built trust by the time you need them most. Extend their hours to include laundry or general tidying.
🍲 One family I supported hired the chef from a local pub to drop off freshly cooked meals after their twins were born. Small ideas like this can be a game-changer.
In many regions, you’ll also find caterers or small local businesses who specialise in warming, nutrient-rich meals for the postpartum period:
https://www.mamita.at
https://www.womensnature.at
https://mamasnest.at
https://nourishedmother.ch
https://mamamuun.de/en
https://www.mothersfinest.org
🧒🐾 Consider practical helpers for the whole family – a trusted babysitter for older siblings, a dog walker, or someone to handle errands in those early weeks. Small, thoughtful additions like these can make your days feel less overwhelming and more supported.
🍼 And then there’s the specialized support that families often don’t realise exists: a postpartum doula, a lactation consultant, or a Maternity Nurse or Newborn Care Specialist (NCS) like myself.
Platinum-Level Support:
When You Need a Professional “Village”
As a Master Newborn Care Specialist®, I provide more than baby care (explore my services here).
I bring calm, expert guidance to your home. I help parents:
- get the rest they so deeply need
- feel confident in newborn feeding and sleep
- create gentle routines (if desired)
- feel emotionally supported and never judged
I’ll sterilise bottles, make tea, prep the travel bag, and yes – I’ll hold your baby while you nap, cry, or just take a moment to breathe.
Some clients tell me I’ve become their emotional anchor in the early weeks. Others say it simply felt easier having someone around who knew exactly what to do and when – without needing to be asked (here’s what previous clients have said).
You Deserve Support – In Whatever Form Works for You
It doesn’t matter if your “village” looks like your mother, your yoga friend, or your Maternity Nurse/ NCS. What matters is that you feel safe, supported, and seen.
If that means hiring help for a few hours, do it. If celebrity mothers can have a nanny on set, you can have someone who helps you sleep through the night. You’re doing the work of an entire village – and you were never meant to do it alone.
📚 Looking for inspiration on how to truly nourish yourself during this time?
I often recommend the beautiful book “The First Forty Days: The Essential Art of Nourishing the New Mother” by Heng Ou – it’s a gentle, practical guide rooted in warmth, rest, and real nourishment for the postpartum season.
📩 Ready to Talk?
Let’s discuss how I can support you during the first weeks of parenthood. Whether you’re looking for full-time newborn care or a short-term solution, I’m here to help – with expert care and a warm heart.
Martina The Maternity Nurse
Master NCS®
The Platinum Standard in Newborn Care
Trusted by families across Europe and beyond